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Reflections {{Snowpaw+OpenToAll}}

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    ~Snowpaw, The Fluffiest Of Windclan Apprentices~

    How long had it been now, that her mother had been gone from her side, Snowpaw couldn’t remember how many times the sun and moon rose and set since then. However she was not lonely, she had her aunts, uncles, cousins, blood siblings, and adopted siblings, of which were Goldenrose’s and Wolfstar’s litter. Goldenrose and Wolfstar is who she now considered to be her parents. She still had plenty of kin with which to share tongues with, to grow up with, and to grow into grumpy old cats with.

    Though what she didn’t have was someone to call her own, even though she was only eleven moons of age, she’d soon be a warrior, and being a warrior meant finding your place in the clan. The fluffy white and gray molly with lovely sky-blue eyes wanted nothing more than to become a warrior Windclan would be proud of and she also yearned for a family of her very own. She wanted someone special, but she also found that no tom was catching her fancy, she found it odd to say the very least. She couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t finding the love she was seeking. Also despite wanting a mate, the thought of having kits, it caused shudders to trail up and down her spine. She’d witnessed Goldenrose’s kitting first-pawed, and she wouldn’t lie the very act of it had made her shy away of ever wanting kits for herself.

    For Starclan’s sake, why was family building so difficult? Shouldn’t she want to find a handsome tom to call her own? Shouldn’t she want kits? She just didn’t understand. It frustrated her to no end, and she felt like perhaps somewhere deep down inside, something within her was broken that just couldn’t be fixed.




    The moon shone down on the WindClan camp, making the snow-covered ground sparkle like the stars in Silverpelt. Thankfully, it wasn’t too cold of a night. The skies were clear with no chance of it snowing for at least another day, which made Wolfstar quite happy. Despite his ability to withstand the cold, thanks to his long coat, he feared for his kits who were still so small. The WindClan leader stepped out from the nursery after saying goodnight to Goldenrose and the kits, milk-scent still clinging to his fur. It was warmer in there the rest of their dens, and he checked the heather and gorse bushes surrounding it everyday to keep it that way. 

    Wolfstar looked around the camp, his blue eyes shining from the reflection of the moon. Some of his Clanmates were lounging around and sharing tongues, but the sight of Snowpaw caught his eye more than the others. She blended in well with the snow beneath her, but it was her blue eyes that gave her away. He knew the apprentice had a close connection with Goldenrose, and while he accepted her and treated her like his other kits, he actually hadn’t had much alone time with her. The death of her parents was still raw in the Clan, and he heard their names whispered in Clan gossip every now and again. Moving forward, Wolfstar padded towards her direction. He noticed the indecisiveness in her gaze, and he tilted his head. “Hello, Snowpaw,” he greeted her. “May I ask what’s troubling you?” He placed his chin on the top of her head in a warm greeting before sitting down in front of her, wrapping his fluffy tail around his paws. 


    Snowpaw couldn’t help but give off a little happy purr as Wolfstar pressed his chin atop her head, it reminded her of her beloved father in Starclan, he used to do stuff like that all the time when greeting her. After Wolfstar pulled back and settled down next to her in the snow, she inhaled deeply, held it in her lungs for a few moments, before exhaling slowly.

    Her breath misting out before her into the air, she watched the puff slowly vanish before she opened her mouth to speak, “I’ve been thinking,” she turned her gaze towards the gray tom, “I’ll be a warrior soon, just in about a moon, and well I just am having troubles with my own heart it seems. I know as a she-warrior I might be expected to take on a mate and have kits, but well, I find myself having issues with toms. Not a one has caught my fancy, and after seeing Goldenrose’s kitting…” She shuddered and shook her head.

    “I’m not sure I want to have kits. But, well… it’s important for the clan to have queens so they can have future generations of warriors. I won’t to contribute like that, I just don’t know if I’m able.”



    Wolfstar listened to Snowpaw explain her troubles, and he frowned when she said the word “expect”. Wolfstar flicked his tail. “You aren’t expected to take on a mate and have kits, Snowpaw, I promise you.” Wolfstar looked over to the nursery where Goldenrose was curled up with the kits, keeping them warm and safe. He knew since he was young that he wanted to be a father, but it was never expected of him. “I hope no one has told you that it’s your duty to become a queen or take on a mate. Not everyone falls in love or even wants to fall in love.

    The gray-and-white tom looked back down at the soon-to-be warrior. “The only duty that is expected of you is to serve your Clan the best way you know how. My daughter, Nettlenose, is our medicine cat and she won’t be having kits. The only thing she wants to do is serve our Clan the way she wants. Only two out of ten of my kits have some of their own. My eldest daughter, Blizzardfall, had three of them. And even though they turned out to be strong warriors for the Clan, Blizzardfall did not want to become a mother and wasn’t a very good one.” He didn’t like to speak ill of his daughter now that she was deceased, but it was true. She was snappy and impatient, which made it hard for her to be caring and loving towards her young. “If you don’t want kits, then you absolutely don’t have to. Just try to become the best warrior that you can possibly be. And I know you’ll be a great one.


    Snowpaw blinked her sky blue orbs owlishly, as Wolfstar spoke, and she flicked her ears listening to his words.

    Taking them all into consideration, as she let her gaze fall downwards towards the snow that she was named after. She let her own tail curl around her short and chubby figure, as she thought about what she wanted from the future.

    “I see…” She muttered thoughtfully, before her gaze returned to Wolfstar.

    A warm smile spread itself across her maw, “Thank you, Wolfstar, I suppose I feel much better now. I guess not everyone has to fall in love or have a family. Though… I do desire to have someone special, but I think I’ll skip out on kits. With that being said, well I just don’t really don’t see myself being happy with any of the toms in this clan. So I’m not sure how I’d go about finding someone special for me.”



    Wolfstar chuckled and tapped Snowpaw’s muzzle with the tip of his tail, his eyes glimmering with amusement. “You’re young yet, Snowpaw. No need to worry about falling in love or finding someone special. I found Goldenrose when I was older and now I have kits.” It was true he had a mate before Goldenrose, but he didn’t know if Snowpaw had heard the story of Cremefur and her death. He tilted his head up to look at the dark sky, staring at Silverpelt and all the stars scattered upon it. 

    Wolfstar looked back down at Snowpaw and tilted his head. “Have you been focusing on your apprenticeship? I know Goldenrose is in the nursery now, but you should be following other mentors and training with their apprentices. I don’t want you falling behind.” I hope she isn’t letting the thoughts of finding someone to love ruin her training. Wolfstar didn’t want distracted warriors in his Clan. “I just finished with Thistleheart’s training, so I can take over the majority of your training. I wouldn’t mind warming up my muscles with some combatives either.” In fact, Wolfstar actually loved mentoring the youth. He was older than all of them, yet learned a lot from the apprentices. The Clan had changed since he was young, and he wanted to be part of the changes instead of ignoring them. 


    Snowpaw puffed out her chest as she sat up straight, her nose twitching as she crinkled it to ward off an incoming sneeze. Wolfsar’s tail tip lightly brushing against it felt rather funny.

    “I’ve been keeping up with everything Goldenrose taught me. There’s been kind warriors who have taken their time to keep me up to pace. Though I would appreciate it if one singular cat decided to dedicate their time to training me. There’s so many other apprentices that could use extra training, and those warriors picking up my training could be doing that instead.” 

    It was obvious despite her words that she truly was grateful that some warrior had stepped up to train her while Goldenrose had her paws full with her kits.

    When Wolfstar offered to take over her training, her eyes glistened with excitement. “Really? You want to take over my training? I…. thank you Wolfstar!” She rose to her paws and dipped her head to him graciously. “I’ll try to learn everything I can under your guidance before my 12th moon in a few weeks.”

    Pride seemed to surge through her as she recalled the fact she was going to be coming of age for her Warrior’s assessment soon.


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