March 23, 2020 at 10:32 am #5614TawnyParticipant
By StarClan, this was miserable. Tawnypainter could feel every-cat’s eyes on him; he could feel their pity bleeding through their gazes, felt shame seeping into his bones. He elected to ignore the glances, refusing to give any-cat the satisfaction of some kind of response. He found himself trying to rationalize, reminding himself that most cats weren’t as interested in him as he thought they were, but that led to a full list of self insults he wasn’t ready to welcome back into his thoughts just yet.
His eyes were closed, but it was clear in the way his brown ears flicked and his black-tipped tail lashed every so often that he was not asleep. How could he sleep here in the camp clearing, the atmosphere so unfamiliar though the scents screamed he was home? He wasn’t sure if he felt safe here, if he was happy with his decision to come home. He’d been replaced… ShadowClan had a new deputy; every-cat he had been close with had new friends. Who would’ve known that just a few moons could change so much? They blamed him, he was sure.
How could he tell them he hadn’t had a choice? How could he tell them he’d been trapped and poked and suddenly, unconscious, brought someplace he couldn’t have dreamt up in his worst nightmares? How could he explain that he had been terrified and longing for home, without wounding his– admittedly already-shattered– pride? It was a blur, his time away. He remembered only some, unfortunately including the terrible infection… He sneezed softly, shaking his head briefly to rid his mind of such memories. They were awful enough to see in his dreams; he didn’t need to relive them in his waking hours as well.
StarClan’s kits, why couldn’t they have just left him as he was?March 23, 2020 at 10:49 am #5615PheebsParticipant
“Stuck in your head?” Russetstorm asked casually, walking with slow, long steps before settling down beside the former deputy. Flashing the other tom a grin, Russ tipped his head towards the rest of camp.
“You’re lucky you missed the mess after the storm,” the tabby frowned, “Hell, you’re lucky you missed that gathering. That was a mess.” The warrior was clearly trying to turn Tawnypainter’s whole disappearance around and put it in a positive light but was falling short. Still, Russ was anything but a quitter.
“It’s good to have you back Tawnypainter.” Smiling warmly, the feline rose, motioning with his tail in a silent request for the other to follow. “I don’t know about you, but I happen to be starving. I went out hunting earlier because my brothers won a bet that involved a swamp of water and a frog.”
- This reply was modified 1 week, 4 days ago by Pheebs.
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