Two Lives Lost (Wolf&Golden)

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  • #2382
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    After the chaotic return of the patrol, Wolfstar was grateful to be inside of his den where he most likely wouldn’t be bothered. Wolfstar had awaken during the trek back to camp, but didn’t have the energy to walk by himself. So, he let Toxicshard and Palebriar carry him like he was a kit and fell asleep to the lull of their steps. Nettlenose had been all over him since his return and pleaded for him to stay inside of the medicine cat’s den to gather his strength back up, but he refused. The last thing he wanted was to be in a den where others were able to come and go as they pleased. 

    Wolfstar curled up in his nest with his muzzle placed on his front paws. His white and gray fur was ruffled and still had leaves and dirt clinging on to the long strands from the day before. He didn’t look that great, and he felt just as bad. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep, nightmares took over his dreams and he had to live through suffocating several times. It was now one of his biggest fears. The helplessness of being paralyzed was frightening, and it made it even worse knowing that was what killed Coalpaw. He had been an apprentice for one day…and he had to go through what I did. Wolfstar almost felt selfish that he had nine lives to spare while everyone else had one. 

    Keeping his eyes open, Wolfstar stared at the walls in his den and let out a hefty sigh. He still felt incredibly weak and found it hard to stand so he was forced to rely on others bringing him food and water. Drinking from moss balls was quite annoying, but it was the only way to bring water to the WindClan leader. Sighing again, he thought about how simple the past was compared to now. When he was younger, he had no idea that he would one day be leader and know how it felt to lose multiple lives at once. It was hard to think of happy moments during times like this, so he let the depressing thoughts enter his mind and stay there.

    #2387
    Feared
    Participant

    Goldenrose ~ WindClan Warrior 

    Nose twitched slightly with mixed emotions as the molly glanced towards the leaders den, it was hard to miss the commotion of whispers and taunt expressions of the cats within the Clan when the hunting patrol had returned. Two life’s.. She thought to herself, heart twinging with emotion, throat bobbing with how upset she was with the news, but Wolfstar did not need a mate who would be balling and upset when he was in such a weakened state. Her first instinct had been wanting to rush to the medicine cat den in order to be with her mate, however she had been ushered to give the leader space to breathe and to let him gather his wits. Loosing two life’s was harsh on the body. For the night she had slept in the Warriors den, although if she was honest she hadn’t slept at all. Slowly she moved towards the fresh-kill pile, bright green eyes catching sight of the young rabbit that was sitting to the side. “Perfect.” She whispered under her breath, lowering her head to pick up the rabbit, making her way hesitantly towards the den she shared with her mate. 

    Peeking in, she had just watched Wolfstar look up towards the ceiling, a rough sigh escaping his nose caused a slight smile to reach her lips. No matter how weak he was, he always pushed himself so others didn’t have to for him. Eyes scoring over his dirty pelt, but she had already been cautioned about the flowers pollen that had covered his pelt. Slowly the slender white and rose gold patched feline slipped through the entrance of the den, a small smile playing on her lips while her heart ached. She felt as if she should have been here sooner, but she had been ushered to leave him be. Lowering the rabbit to his forepaw, the molly gently brushed her cheek against his muzzle. “Well good morning stranger.” She spoke softly, her eyes soft before she shifted to look at his messy pelt. “You leave me for a day and return a mess.” She joked, lowering her body to lay beside of Wolfstar, dark grey fur mixing with her white and rose gold. 

    #2388
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    The sound of someone padding in to his den made Wolfstar’s ears fall flat to his head. He prayed it wasn’t Nettlenose pining over him and asking how he was doing multiple times in a row. He loved his daughter so much, but the last thing he liked was to be hovered and nagged at. When Goldenrose’s frame came into view, Wolfstar sighed and smiled up at his mate. He tried to stand up, but his legs wobbled too much so he stayed right where he was, letting his mate come to him instead. He almost told her to stay away from, but then remembered they had cleaned the pollen off of his pelt. Normally, he would have wanted to bathe in the lake or stream just to be sure it was all off of him, but he craved the feeling of her warm body next to his. Her sweet scent filled his nose and a purr rumbled in his chest. The scent of the rabbit wafted up to his nose and his belly growled with hunger. Lowering his head, he took a couple of bites of the prey and swallowed slowly. “Thank you for this. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.

    A frown formed on his lips when she spoke and he lowered his head. “I know. I’m sorry you had to deal with that when we came back. But it was…it was awful, Goldenrose.” His voice turned to a whisper and he wanted to shake with the thought of the suffocation again. This was the first time the two mates had spoken since their return. Wolfstar didn’t have much recollection once they brought him back, only remembering them laying him in his nest and Nettlenose telling everyone to stay away from him for the time being so he could recover. The next thing he knew, he woke up this morning with no one in sight, not even his mate. He didn’t blame her for wanting to stay away…the pain was probably too much for her. “I hope I never have to go through losing two lives again. I’ve lost a life before, but losing two made me weak. It’s hard for me to sit up by myself, let alone stand. I hope I’ll start feeling normal again after tomorrow.” 

    #2390
    Feared
    Participant

    Goldenrose ~ WindClan Warrior 

    She watched as he took a few bites out of the rabbit, a small smile playing on her lips for a moment as he seemed to greatly enjoy the prey. “Good. I’m glad you are eating.” She meowed softly, shifting her head slightly to where her tongue was gently scoring over his shoulder blade and back, long and soothing strokes as she cleaned his pelt. Ear twitching when he spoke, her eyes flickering towards his face as his expression fell, her heart falling from her chest and landing in her stomach just from the mere sight of it. “You have nothing to be sorry for. If I could have I would have been in the den when you woke up.” She whispered softly, moving her head to where her tongue gently grazed along his cheek in a reassuring way. Loosing his life’s the way he had seemed to have taken a great toll of her love, his eyes were haunted and his body seemed tense as he seemed to be remembering the way he had lost his life’s. “I know it was awful… but it’s over and done now. You are alive and breathing and that’s all I can thank StarClan for.” Her soft voice was but a whisper, her nose gently touching his neck as she tried to be assuring for him. 

    Moving her nose away from his neck, she watched him for a moment before she gave a small smile. “Well, of course you are weak. But you are also strong.” She said softly, swaying slightly as she gently bumped her shoulder with his own, trying to lighten up his mood. Everyone had been worried for Wolfstar, Goldenrose especially. But… she couldn’t let that be too noticeable, he was too self conscious right now. “I’m sure you will.” She mused, her tone was clearly amused that he wanted to recover as fast as possible, a purr sounding from within her chest as she gently leaned against him, she needed him just as much as he needed her presence right now. 

    #2392
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    Wolfstar was grateful that Goldenrose didn’t seem to be pining over him like Nettlenose had been. He wasn’t the type of cat to want special treatment or to have things handed to him. For a long time, he was not fully accepted into WindClan which forced him to be independent, and that never left him. “I’ve only been leader for about thirteen or fourteen moons now and I already lost three lives. I’m really hoping its a long time before I lose another one.” It was scary to think if leaders had one life, then he would have completely died after only two moons of becoming one. I’m not ready to be up with my ancestors.

    It was the strangest thing. It was horrific when I was dying, and then when I woke up in StarClan it was as if my body was young again. I could have ran around without my muscles giving out or running out of breath. Then I woke up in my body again and I felt extremely weak.” Wolfstar shook his head with disbelief. “I almost envy our ancestors up there. They can run around the moors tirelessly.” His whiskers twitched with amusement at the thought of running around the rolling hills as long as he wanted. The thought of it made his body feel even weaker, so he switched the subject, biting into more of the rabbit. His tail ran along Goldenrose’s spine, feeling happy they were in each other’s presence again. He felt lucky he found someone who understood how to be around him. His mate knew he didn’t like to be fussed over, and he appreciated her trying to lighten up the mood. 

    I love you, Goldenrose. I feel I don’t say that enough. I don’t ever want you to doubt it.” He swallowed the bite he had been chewing and locked eyes with her for a few seconds. “I know it must be tough being the leader’s mate and having to show strength when you feel weak like I do. But you do it so well and I appreciate you.”

    #2397
    Feared
    Participant

    Goldenrose ~ WindClan Warrior 

    She felt as if cold water had suddenly been poured over her head when he mentioned that he had lost three life’s altogether, chewing on the inside of her cheek for a moment while his face was pointed away from her. If Wolfstar hadn’t been graced with the nine life’s granted to a leader, she would have lost her mate a long while ago, probably before StarClan had managed to match the two cats together. Ears standing upright when he spoke about his experience of dying and then joining their ancestors for a brief moment of time, her heart aching with just the mere thought. But it was clear to her that Wolfstar was trying to get these thoughts out his mind and was choosing to open up to her, which meant more to her than he could have guessed. “Well.. you are young to me.” She joked in a soft tone, her side pressed against his own, although her voice had cracked with emotion. As if her mate had sensed her emotional fight within herself, his long tail traced along her spine, causing a soft breath to be released from her nose. 

    Eyes closing briefly as she enjoyed the feeling of his body so close to her own, his scent was warming her stomach and calming her nerves. When he spoke, she opened her eyes and gazed back at the tomcat, ears gently laying back her head as he admitted his love for her, heart warming with the praise and the look in his eyes as he gazed at her. A gentle purr was beginning to rise in her throat as she leaned forwards and gently licked her mates forehead, before resting beside of him. “I am trying to be strong for us both.” She said softly, although it was a bit hard with her emotions running a bit wild at the moment. For now she was composed and comforting Wolfstar, but when he needed to rest again tonight.. she would find somewhere quiet where she could sob. “I love you too, Wolfstar.” She purred softly, her cheek gently resting against his shoulder blade. “Don’t you ever forget that.” She whispered softly, eyes looking towards the ground. 

    #2420
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    Wolfstar presses his cheek gently against Goldenrose’s, his eyes closed and heart warm. “I know you do, my love. But don’t forget that sometimes it’s okay to not be strong and to let yourself feel. I might look weak, but I’m also here for you as you are for me. Don’t forget that either.” When his mate pressed closer and spoke of her own love towards him, Wolfstar breathes in her scent and let her presence lull him into contentment. Even though he felt weak and vulnerable, none of it mattered when she was around him. 

    Wolfstar stayed in silence for awhile, drinking in the calmness and beauty of the moment. Even though he felt like he could sleep for much longer, he didn’t want to have any more nightmares of suffocation so he lifted his head and forced his eyes to stay open. “I saw Blizzardfall and Cremefur when I went to StarClan,” he revealed. “Blizzardfall is just as snappy as she was when she was alive.” A happy purr rumbled in his chest. Blizzardfall had always been his favorite kit. She was stubborn and very outspoken, but Wolfstar adored that. “And Cremefur told me that she thinks you are a lucky she cat and a good match for me.” He hoped Goldenrose wouldn’t answer with anger or jealousy, and his chest tightened with anxiety as he waited. 

    #2422
    Feared
    Participant

    Goldenrose ~ WindClan Warrior 

    She smiled softly to herself when he spoke, clearly she knew that he was there for her emotionally as well, but clearly he didn’t need any of her worries thrown upon him right now. “When you are feeling better… then I’ll lean emotionally on you.” She whispered softly to Wolfstar, her bright green eyes were vibrant in color, but soft in emotion. Goldenrose could sense her mate had calmed and his muscles had relaxed as he seemed at peace within the moment, although he seemed.. tired. “Perhaps, you should get some sleep.” She meowed gently, chin tilting slightly for a moment before he lifted his head, as though he was silently protest that he didn’t want to sleep. Lips parting and eyebrows furrowing as she almost spoke, although when he spoke of Cremefur and Blizzardfall… she went silent. 

    She stayed quiet as he spoke, looking away from him for a brief moment as she thought of Blizzardfall. She had been a bit older than Blizzardfall, she definitely remembered the she-cats stubbornness when they had been apprentices, and how outspoken she had been once they had been warriors… the she-cat would always be remembered within the clan. Cremefur had been a gentle soul, although she had a bit of bite behind her words. Someone to look up to. Goldenrose was happy he had seen them when he had gone to StarClan, chin tilting slightly for a moment as a soft sigh slipped from her nostrils. “I’m glad you saw them.” She whispered softly, ear twitching in surprise when he mentioned that Cremefur approved of them being mates. “She… she’s not angry with us?” She asked softly, shifting slightly to where she was gazing at him curiously. 

    #2423
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    Wolfstar was glad to see there was no jealousy or anger in his mates green eyes. He felt lucky all over again when he realized he should have never expected or worried about that. Goldenrose was mature and understanding. Jealousy was never something he feared from her. “No, she wasn’t angry. I could tell she was a little sad about it, but understanding.” 

    Wolfstar felt a large pull of tiredness and his eyes started to blink closed, but he widened them again and huffed with determination. The last thing he wanted was sleep… and the nightmares that came with it. Nettlenose told him sleep was the best way for him to recover, but what if sleep was the only thing that frightened him now? Forgetting what they were talking about, Wolfstar leaned on Goldenrose’s shoulder, tail dropping from her back and onto the ground. “I’m tired of being tired,” he mumbled, ears flattening on his head. “It’s actually quite tiring,” he chuckled weakly.

    #2425
    Feared
    Participant

    Goldenrose ~ WindClan Warrior 

    A soft breath left her nose when he confirmed that his former mate was not upset with either of them, a soft smile rising along her lips in relief. “I don’t blame her for feeling sad… I would be sad as well.” She said in a soft voice, looking towards her mate as she started to clean his ears as he leaned against her, his expression seemed peaceful but it only lasted for a moment since his eyes started to get heavy with the need for sleep. However, what confused her was when he opened his eyes wider, ear twitching from the sound of his huff. What was going on with her mate? Gazing at him curiously for a moment, eyes searching his face as she noticed the bags that were under his eyes from lack of sleep. Hearing him speak, she tilted her head ever so slightly for a moment as she ran her tongue over his forehead. 

    He seemed so tired and weak, his tail falling from her back, although she made sure to keep facial expression soft and clear of worry. “I know, love. But you should sleep so you can regain your strength.” She whispered softly in his ear. “You are still weak… and you look so tired, Wolfstar.” Goldenrose didn’t know that he was worried to sleep, but she gently nuzzled her nose into his neck, allowing him to lean against her. He need her reassurance. “Get some sleep.. I’ll be right here.” She promised softly, tenderly licking at his forehead and ears. 

    #2426
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    Wolfstar felt anxiety over telling his mate about the nightmares. For some reason, he would feel even more weak if he spoke about the troubling dreams that kept him awake. Little kits kept themselves awake from frightful dreams, not grown leaders. Wolfstar lowered his head down when Goldenrose reassured him she was here. He wanted to reply, but felt too exhausted to even mumble the words. I hope you sleep here tonight, he thought, knowing she couldn’t read his mind, but he hoped she could just feel how much he needed her right now.

    Wolfstar’s eyelids fluttered shut, and his mind did the same after only a few moments.  Hopefully, the WindClan leader wouldn’t dream of anything and his mind would only rest. 

    #2428
    Feared
    Participant

    Goldenrose ~ WindClan Warrior 

    She noticed how hesitant he seemed to want to sleep, perhaps it was because she was here and he wanted to stay awake for her. “It’s alright.. get some sleep.” She reassured him in a soft voice, lowering her head to gently lick the top of his head as she licked the dirt and grime off of his dark fur. He’s a mess. Good thing he has me. She thought silently to herself, looking down at Wolfstar as he finally lowered his head and closed his eyes to finally give into the land of dreams. “Sweet dreams, my Wolf.” She whispered gently, allowing her mate to stay leaning against her as he slowly slipped into a dream. Slowly a deep breath slipped from her flared nostrils, looking towards his pelt as she noticed the twigs and the leaves that were sticking to his dark grey and white pelt. Oh dear.. Goldenrose thought to herself, a slight smile resting on her face. 

    Shifting slightly, her tail moved to where she was brushing the twigs and leaves free from his pelt in gentle sweeps, however when the leaves and twigs were too matted into his pelt.. she left them there so he wouldn’t be woken up. Chin lowering as she licked at his shoulder blades and back in long and gentle sweeps of her tongue, cleaning him as he slept. While also lending her body heat to the tomcat as he slept. He looked so vulnerable while he was sleeping, peaceful and yet all it took was a few poisonous flowers to flip her world upside down.. if Wolfstar hadn’t been graced with nine life’s from StarClan she would have lost him. 

    #2472
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    Blizzardfall stood in front of Wolfstar, their matching blue eyes locked together. Her expression was distraught and pleading, eyebrows furrowed together with fear and tail lashing furiously. Wolfstar suddenly realized her facial expressions just matched his own. When he blinked, she blinked. When his paws twitched, so did hers. Father and daughter were so much alike, and now it seemed like they were one. But why am I upset? Wolfstar tried to change his mood and smile at his daughter, but he could see on her face that it was challenging to do so. Since she copied everything he did, he could see exactly how he felt. 

    Suddenly, a twig with white flowers and green leaves on it appeared in his mouth, and the taste was quite awful. The pollen made him cough, and Blizzardfall did the same. Wolfstar and Blizzardfall narrowed their eyes at each other, and the WindClan leader felt suspicious about who she was and why she was copying every move he made. “What are you doing?” he tried to mumble through the twig in his mouth, but Blizzardfall’s own voice was as loud as his so he doubted she heard him. A few moments later, Wolfstar’s legs started to tingle and he immediately felt horror. StarClan, please not again. How many times will I have to die? Thunder rolled loudly throughout the clouds, rattling the ground underpaw. A flash of lightning struck the sky as if it introduced the rain that now poured onto Wolfstar and Blizzardfall. The WindClan leader wanted to turn away from Blizzardfall, but he was unable to move. It was as if his bones were fused together and his paws were glued to the grass. No matter how many times this happened to him, it was just as awful as the last. 

    Closing his eyes, Wolfstar shut the rest of the world away during the process. He felt completely paralyzed, yet he still stood. I can’t hold my breath any longer. I need to breathe. But his chest didn’t move. He was unable to fill his lungs and breathe the heavy air surrounding him. “Just breathe, Wolfstar. It’s not that hard.” Blizzardfall’s voice whispered directly into his ear and he wondered when she had gotten closer to him. His lungs felt like they were screaming, aching and wanting to gasp, but he couldn’t. The rain pounded harder onto the moors and Wolfstar’s coat became drenched, making him feel even more miserable. “Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!”

    Gasping, Wolfstar woke with a start in his nest, paws thrashing until he realized Goldenrose was next to him. He hoped he didn’t smack her with his paws and he settled himself down, breathing turning from gasping to a light panting. “I’m…I’m sorry,” he mumbled, blue eyes wide and looking around his den with suspicion. It felt so real…Blizzardfall seemed so real, yet fake at the same time. He knew it wasn’t a dream from StarClan, but it really did seem like his daughter…

     

    #2474
    Feared
    Participant

    Goldenrose ~ WindClan Warrior 

    Wolfstar seemed at first to be a peaceful sleep, his expression was neutral and his breathing was slow and calm. A soft sigh leaving her lips for a moment, her mate had worried her so much when she had been told that he had lost two life’s because of the flower that had killed Coalpaw. Her heart twitching with pain, the poor apprentice had died in a horrible way, much like her mate. Vibrant green eyes flickered towards his face for a moment, watching him sleep before she leaned in towards him and gently started to clean his pelt with her tongue. Her throat was tight with emotion but she knew that Wolfstar was weak and in a sense ill.. she needed to be here for him. She wanted to be there for him.. she would want him there if she had been the one ill. Careful not to take any of the leaves or twigs into her mouth, she used her paws to gently untangle his pelt, the toughness of her tongue scrapping away the dirt and dust that mangled his pelt. 

    Muscle running along his back twitched under her tongue, causing her to hesitate in her grooming session, eyes roaming back towards his face as she noticed his expression was changing. He seemed confused. “What are you dreaming about..” She whispered quietly to herself, her tongue gently scrapping over his forehead to try and calm him down without waking him. However, doing this seemed to cause his confused expression to change to one of horror, his eyes squeezing shut and his breathing became ragged. “Wolfstar.. love wake up.. it’s just a Dream.” She said softly, leaning down to gently press her nose to his cheek, trying to nudge him awake. Suddenly.. he stopped breathing; but it was only for a moment before he suddenly jolted awake. However, the moment he awoke and lifted his big head, the top of his head collided with the bottom of her jaw, quickly snapping her jaw shut. She blinked a couple of times as tears instantly clouded her green eyes, large paws suddenly hitting her side as her mate thrashed from the panic of his dream. He pushed her out of the nest, causing her to fall onto her side, which didn’t hurt but she was still fazed from the ‘head butt’. 

    Sweet Starclan. She thought to herself, a soft groan of pain leaving her throat from how roughly her jaw was snapped shut. Slowly she lifted a small paw to gently touch her jaw, massaging the muscle for a moment before her green eyes flickered towards Wolfstar, he seemed panicked still as he looked around the den. “Are you okay?” She asked through clenched teeth. She hadn’t been expecting her mate to jolt awake the way he did, but she also didn’t blame him. Perhaps she had been too close because she had been worried. Whatever the reason, she definitely knew her jaw would be bruised and sore. 

    #2483
    Wolfstar
    Participant

    Wolfstar didn’t realize he had headbutted Goldenrose until he felt a throb on the top of his head where it collided with her jaw. He narrowed his eyes with confusion, but widened them as soon as he saw his mate sprawled out on the floor next to his nest. “Did I…Did I hit you?” Despite feeling extremely weak, the WindClan leader found the strength to stand up and check to see if his beautiful mate was alright. “I’m so sorry, Goldenrose. It was a nightmare, that’s all. Oh, great StarClan, I’m so sorry.” He looked at her jaw and her side to make sure she wasn’t bleeding or seriously injured, guilt gnawing at his belly. He didn’t think he thrashed about in his nightmares…he only thought they just haunted him in his mind, but now it seemed to be more serious.

    Wolfstar’s legs shook with exhaustion as he tried to help Goldenrose back on her paws. “I’m sorry,” he apologized again. “Like I said, it was…a dream.” Maybe it wasn’t safe for Goldenrose to sleep by his side until his nightmares went away. If they ever do. Once the white and gray tom felt like she could stand on her own, he plopped back down on the nest when he could no longer ignore his muscles screaming at him. He was so tired. “Maybe I should have Nettlenose bring me some poppy seeds…so I don’t dream. My body needs it. Are you okay, my love? I’m so sorry.” His eyes pleaded for forgiveness when he looked at his mate, feeling absolutely awful for smacking her jaw and pushing her out of the nest. I guess it’s no secret now that I have nightmares.

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