May 11, 2020 at 6:48 am #6330SoliloquySilverParticipant
Sharkpaw was strolling by the river, alone with his thoughts. He was distantly aware of the slight give of the earth under his snow white paws and the bubbling of the river to his side. The young tom sighed, allowing his breath to be carried away by the breeze. He could practically feel the tension fall away from him as he wandered further and further from camp. The cave that was a sanctuary to so many other cats felt like a prison to the apprentice. A home should be warm and welcoming… but thanks to his large family, the RiverClan camp always felt cold and hostile towards him. Thanks to his… lovely mother and father, all of his siblings hated each other. Many moons of ‘why aren’t you like this sibling or another sibling’ had left all of them bitter and angry, and the anger still lingered, even though their father had died moons ago and their mother left the clan shortly after. Although Sharkpaw was around clanmates almost all the time, he was always alone. It’s not like he wanted to be, but it was just so… hard to connect with others. His mother always said that there was something wrong with him, and at this point, he believed it. That was the only explanation he could think of for his difficulty making friends, and his difficulty pleasing his mentor, Swanpath. The grey tom’s tail drooped as the she-cat entered his mind.
Swanpath was an impressive warrior, well respected for her strength. She was everything he was not. He was nothing but a disappointment and an embarrassment to his family and clan… at least, that’s what his sister, Silvershine, had told him, and he was inclined to believe her. He wholeheartedly believed that he was an embarrassment, inferior to the rest of the clan. The words had been ingrained into his mind since the day he came into the world. All he wanted was a friend. Someone who cared about him… someone who loved him. But a voice inside kept telling him that he didn’t deserve such a thing. Maybe it was true.
He sighed once more and observed his surroundings, noticing a frog nearby. He quickly dropped into a crouch and pounced, catching the frog between his paws. Most clan cats would have killed the creature, but Sharkpaw simply observed it. “Today’s your lucky day, friend. It’s just me out here, and I don’t like to eat frogs,” He mewed, giggling as the slimy thing squirmed around in his grasp. “One of my clanmates will probably make a meal out of you eventually, but for now…” He opened his paws and allowed the creature to go free, watching as it hopped away and into the river. Newleaf was upon the clans, and the river was filled with fish, so allowing one frog to live for one more day wouldn’t hurt anything. Once the frog was out of sight, Sharkpaw slumped to the ground, watching the water flow past him. He would need to return to camp soon, but first, he would relax by the river for a little while.
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