March 3, 2021 at 1:04 am #11404
The gray-black tom slipped into the medicine den quietly, he needed his bandages to be cleaned and changed before he went back to his duties of making sure the elders and queens were comfortable with their nests or general care, it wasn’t a easy task.. But he wasn’t going to complain about it, it was a punishment he deserved and it was time for him to step up and prove to Darkstar and Riverclan that he was intending to mature and grow up.. Edgepaw needed to become a better cat, for everyone close to him.
Cherrypaw approached him and tended to his wounds, cleaning his wound with some comfrey roots to soothe the wound on his cheek that had started to show signs of inflammation a couple of days after the accident, but with the small calico checking on it and cleaning it and wrapping the wound with cobwebs, the wound was starting to heal up. The gray-black tom didn’t do anything to risk the wound getting worse otherwise he would have two pissed off medicine cats after him. Cherrypaw was one of the most polite cats ever, but he didn’t dare upset her, she had been nothing but kind towards him when he felt like he was being shunned by all of Riverclan that wasn’t Swanpath or his mentor.
Edgepaw’s teeth gritted together as Cherrypaw was wrapping the wound, he was quite used to the pain by now. He wasn’t going to show any signs of weakness or hurt, he was raised not to by his family. His green eyes instead were on Snowp-, Snowfeather and her sleeping figure. Usually Cherrypaw would treat his wound outside in front of the den as Darkstar didn’t really allow Edge to go inside the den, but the leader allowed Edgepaw to go inside since the small molly had been asking how the gray-tom was. To be honest, Edge wasn’t usually afraid of anything besides his father.. But he was very afraid of facing Snowfeather after the fox accident, he didn’t know if she hated him, that she would have screamed at him to get out of the den.. But Edge never felt more afraid than the night the accident and how she almost died, there were a lot of traumatic things he went through before coming to Riverclan, but Milkfrost’s death and Snowfeather fighting for her life would probably be the one thing that wound haunt him until the grave.. It was something he was going to hate within himself for the rest of his life.
Edge had stayed awake every night, watching the medicine den and literally prayed for her to get better, every day he would ask Cherrypaw how she was doing, half expecting the medicine cat apprentice to tell him that Snowfeather didn’t make the night. But he would literally let out a sigh of relief when Cherrypaw would give him the news that Snowfeather was indeed alive, but still in a bad condition. The tom would keep himself busy throughout the day by taking care of the elders’ need, training with Whitefoot and cleaning out the nursery and checking on Swanpath and his siblings, getting her anything she needed. Mostly he would get through these tasks without speaking a word unless it was Swanpath speaking to him or his mentor. But even then, he would just been in a gloomy mood.
Feeling that Cherrypaw was finished with his wounds, his dark green eyes went from the sleeping warrior, his eyes darkening once he saw her tail was much shorter, and how it was dressed as his eyes scanned her body and saw the injuries the white-gray warrior had. The tom shallowed hard for a moment, refusing to show any type of emotion. He considered just shutting down, it was something he saw Aurora did when he was younger after something happened within the group of rouges they were in. Death, sickness, war.. It’s something within his inner soldier wanted to do, just shut down and go on with his life. But he wasn’t that cat anymore, he didn’t want to be a soldier but a warrior..
A soldier fights to get whatever task that was needed done, no matter how grim it could be. A warrior fights for honor and glory, choosing to fight for what they loved and cherish.
Hearing Cherrypaw’s voice announcing that he was good to return to his duties, he broke out of his thoughts as his eyes turned away from Snowfeather and looked towards the small calico and thanking her and he got up, slightly letting out a breath when he still felt the pain in his side after the fox tackled him in the side. He rolled his shoulder a bit before waving his tail in farewell towards Cherrypaw before turning in the direction of the entrance of the den to return to his duties, Swanpath had asked him to bring her a fish when he would finish and he offered to look after the kits incase she needed to stretch her legs and walk around the camp.. The tom wasn’t usually great with kits, he would rather run in the other direction at the mere mention of kits.. But he was pretty good with his little siblings, it was probably because he always wanted younger siblings since his litter was the youngest out of Twilightfoot’s children.
Edge felt his paws stop dead in their tracks when he saw a soft raspy voice calling his name, his green eyes were widened before his left paw returned to the ground, refusing to turn his head for a moment because he knew whose voice that belonged to.. But he kept telling himself, to show his emotions.. It was time, it was time for him to break free and find his own way.. And that day was today.March 3, 2021 at 11:23 am #11405
s n o w f e a t h e r
Her body ached from nose to tail tip, shockwaves of nausea strong enough to knock a cat off their paws. Perhaps it was the herb mixture Cherrypaw and Rainysky had been half forcing her to eat. It was difficult to chew, even to swallow, though day by day it got easier. The warm honey they snuck in the wraps made it bearable to consume, though Snowfeather still found herself too ill to eat more than a mouthful of a fish. Her ribs jutted out beneath her white pelt, neatly groomed and slicked down with patches of herbs. Of course she couldn’t do it herself just yet, but she appreciated her father, Gobystrike, coming in and doing it for her. She’d struggled to stay conscious most days, spending only a few moments awake at a time. She heard the medicine cats discussing her condition, fear tinging their mews as they spoke. When she’d first regained consciousness, they’d told her all about the fox attack, Milkfrost’s death, and her own warrior ceremony. How could I miss all that? she thought miserably, feeling hollow at her brother’s death. They quarreled often, but ultimately he had laid his life on the line for her. How could she ever forgive herself?
She held her breath as the familiar scent of Edgepaw wafted into the medicine den, filling her pink nostrils with his sweet aroma. Longing tingled in her paw; not necessarily for him, but to be curled up beside him in the apprentice’s den with Milkfrost a few nests down, Blackpaw to her right. Her heart ached at the thought of clan life going on without her, leaving her to rot in the medicine den. It was a struggle, fighting for life or deciding to let go. How could she live on while everyone around her suffered? Her father had taken care of her, but her mother, Whitefeather, hadn’t come to see her at all. How could her mother not check on her only surviving kit? Snowfeather let out a soft moan, rolling over as she listened to the pair speak in hushed voices. She wanted to open her eyes, but what were the repercussions of coming back to life? Would he soul follow her, or forever be pulled down by the river that had almost killed her? She was a RiverClan cat, how could she be defeated by water? Her white and gray paws trembled, the only gray one reaching up to paw at her muzzle.
She inhaled sharply, swiping her tongue across her maw as she lightly raised her head, pale blue gaze blinking softly as sunlight trickled into her nest. Her ears swiveled forward, perked up as she listened for movement. Her gaze was blurry, though the fuzzy shape of Edgepaw and Cherrypaw came into view. She hadn’t seen him since the night of the attack, confused as why he hadn’t come to see her. He only came to the medicine den to get his own wounds treated, never to sit with her or speak with her. It was odd, being aware of things happening around you but being unable to wake up. She felt the rhythmic strokes of Gobystrike’s tongue across her fur, and the soft paws of Cherrypaw as she patched her tail. She’d felt the warm breath of Darkstar stir her ear fur as he prayed to StarClan, his mate beside him. Why hadn’t she felt Edgepaw’s presence? Was he afraid to speak with her, or did he decide to abandon her?
“Edgepaw?” she rasped out, struggling to focus on him. How strange to use a voice that’s been silent for a week, and to raise a head that’s been resting on the earth for so long. Her body felt foreign, as if her soul was trapped somewhere else, scared and alone. She felt a shiver pass through her body, though she managed to sit up, breathing slowing as she came to terms with reality. Her mind was clear, eyesight following slowly behind. She watched the dark-pelted tom slowly swivel on his heels and face her, an expression she couldn’t analyze clear on his face. Why had she called his name, when he hadn’t even spoken hers? She hadn’t recalled the incident, but had heard bits and pieces of what happened. Cherrypaw and Darkstar had arrived just in time to save her, but not her brother. He had been on his way to StarClan when they’d arrived. Darkstar’s quivering voice as they tried to move her back to camp for Rainysky to examine. His verdict was grim, and Darkstar tearfully gave her the warrior name she’d dreamed of; Snowfeather. But was she truly a warrior, or was she just pretending?
In an instant their eyes connected, the tension crackling in the air like lightning and threatening to overwhelm Snowfeather. It was as if a storm rolled into the medicine den, the air tasting almost sticky and sweet. He appeared okay, though his body was laced with scratches that appeared to be healing. Her own physique didn’t look too good. She seemed smaller than normal, her pelt slicked to her figure like a newborn kit, scratches littering her pelt. Her tail had lost about an inch or two, leaving it smaller than before. She had a deep wound across her nose, the scent of marigold forever invading her nostrils. Her hind left leg was twisted awkwardly still, patched up with rushes and binded tightly to keep it in place. Is it broken? she wondered blankly, aware that this was the first time she’d truly been to see without streaks of light ruining her vision. Everything was clear for the first time in forever, except for one thing. “You look well,” she mewed, her voice shaking, though the gaspiness had gone. At least something was normal, though it still trembled.March 5, 2021 at 12:18 am #11445
His head turned around slowly to look over at Snowfeather, his mouth was open a bit trying to figure out what to say but his dark green eyes were looking into her blue eyes, his eyes were the one that gave away so much emotion.. It felt like he couldn’t even speak his throat went dry and he was frozen in place. Edge felt so many things at once.. Angry with himself but sorrow for Snowfeather.
Edgepaw felt small in that moment, it was like he was expecting the floor to open under him and eat him alive. The black-gray tom felt the tension in the den and even Cherrypaw probably sensed it because she quietly excused herself but once she was at the entrance of the den, her calico tail rested on Edge’s shoulder and looked at him with her bi-colored eyes, as if telling him to be gentle with Snowfeather, before she left the den. Edge watched her leave before he returned looking at Snowfeather, there were so many things he wanted to say.. But he didn’t know how to, it was always an awkward thing with him.. To spill out his feelings, it wasn’t something in his family was known to do.. Express themselves, the only way they properly expressed themselves was fighting, likely yelling at each other too.
No one was meant to be happy in their family, all the happiness was sucked the day Aurora and Mercy’s mother disappeared and Twilightfoot reacted in one of the worse possible ways as he became cold, distant and ruthless. Even Edge’s own mother didn’t know how to control or even calm down the tom at times, to this day he didn’t know what happened to Vanity, she was most likely dead when she disappeared one night, leaving Edge and his litter-mates to fend for themselves.. His family had a horrible past, and there was no way that he could even escape it.
“Snowfeather” Edge breathed as it was the first time he spoke her name out loud. It felt weird that she had her warrior name now, that they no longer shared a den together as well, it just felt like Edge was living a life without her in it. It honestly killed him too, that he had to pretend everything was normal when it wasn’t.. Far from it actually, but he refused to show or tell anyone how he felt but Swanpath who was his rock during the time. It was comforting to know that she still loved him, and so did the kits too.. But a mother’s love was eternal, they loved their kits no matter what. What started out as a queen being extremely upset at an apprentice just because he told some lame story turned into a bond between a mother and son that could never be broken. He remembered her words to him before Edge went to see Darkstar, and he always kept them deep in his heart.
He watched her for a moment, his breathing was returning to normal as it felt like it shortened earlier from panic. The black-gray tom chewed on the side of his cheek lightly as his eyes scanned her body and felt himself grew cold as he was able to see her injuries more properly now, but he didn’t show emotion because he knew it would cause Snowfeather to be more upset, she already felt sad with how she felt her training performance went when Darkstar was her mentor. But Edge noticed a lot of things about her. The way she laughed, the way she would speak faster when she got excited about something.. Just everything, he noticed everything about her and it wasn’t because he was so observant.
Edge began to take a couple of pawsteps towards her, a voice in his head was screaming at him not to, to just flee. But he couldn’t do that to her, he wasn’t that messed up. It wasn’t until he stopped in front of her nest and he looked at her for a moment before he took a seat, he was thinking of the correct words to say to her, but he had so much to say.. But he let out a breath and shook his head when he heard her speak and shook his head
“Not all injuries are physical.” He muttered, a famous saying that his sister would tell him. It was silent in the den for a moment, it was just them inside and Edge knew that he needed to make things right, he screwed up big time.. He didn’t know if Snowfeather would ever forgive him, but he needed to speak his mind.. While she would still listen to him before someone else came into the den.
“There’s a lot of things I need to say.” The tom began, his voice was soft for once. Looking down at his large paws for a moment before looking up at her and he took a deep breath before he spoke “I want to apologize, for bringing you and Milkfrost out there. I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have even thought about it in the first place.” He said, his voice was rough and he felt his chest growing heavy at the thought of Milkfrost. Because of Edge, Snowfeather and her family lost him.. It was his fault and he couldn’t do anything about it but own up to it.
“If I was allowed to come visit you sooner, I would have. It killed me every day to know you’ve been in here because of me and if I could literally go back in time and make sure you and your brother made it out okay, I would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked.” Edgepaw whispered to her, he felt tears forming around his eyes but he blinked them away, it was like his father’s voice was yelling at him to not tear up like the countless times he did when he was a kit and he looked into her blue eyes with a frown on his face
“I’ve probably caused you so much misery in a single life time, and I’m so sorry. If you don’t want to speak or see me again. I will respect that, you don’t deserve to be around someone like me at all. But I promise I’ve learned my lesson from it, and because of that I will be better.” He said looking at her and he looked down at his paws once more, afraid to even see her reaction to everything. Edge wasn’t afraid of anything but his father, but he nearly lost Snowfeather and that scared him more than anything in the world.March 9, 2021 at 7:20 pm #11471
s n o w f e a t h e r
His words were laced with a sense of sadness the warrior couldn’t understand right away. He seemed guilty, perhaps even responsible for everything that had happened. Should she blame the dark-colored tom for being the spearhead of the group? No, she thought immediately, recalling his words. He’d given her a choice, an option to leave and go back to camp. She’d been foolish enough to ignore it, to push on and dive headfirst into an adventure. She had been so used to life before Edgepaw, being alone and focusing solely on training. His encouragement and enthusiasm seemed to rub off on her, and the consequences seemed more grave than either of them had imagined.
His apologies fell on deaf ears, the silver and white molly uninterested in them. He didn’t need to apologize, but how could he know that? The past quarter moon must’ve been awful for him, especially if he’d faced potential expulsion from the clan. Snowfeather didn’t need to rub salt into his wound, but comforting him seemed a bit difficult at the moment. She felt disconnected from the apprentice as if he didn’t have the strength to properly face her until he was forced to. A pang of grief flooded her at the thought of Milkfrost’s death, though in a way he seemed to take Edgepaw with him.
The silence stretched between them, though when Snowfeather’s blue gaze shifted upward to meet his, they were filled with compassion. She was sore, unable to rise and barrel into him or rub her cheek against his. How could she blame him for a situation she’d put herself in? She agreed to go with him, as did Eclipsepaw and Milkfrost. “Edgepaw,” she breathed lightly, blinking her soft eyes as she stared at him. “I don’t hate you.” It was quiet, and she hoped he’d understand her feelings. His promise to do good only made her shake her head slowly to the side. “You’re already a good cat. I can see it, even if others can’t.” Her voice sounded a bit strained as if she were finding it difficult to speak. She reached over and licked at the damp moss that laid beside her nest, sighing softly as it coated her raw throat.
Snowfeather felt tired; her bones were as strong as twigs and her muscles seemed weak and limp. Perhaps it was the herbs Rainysky and Cherrypaw had been feeding her. She wasn’t sure, but she mustered up all her strength to speak with the handsome apprentice. It was a strange feeling being a warrior yet feeling like an apprentice. She was technically his superior, though didn’t feel like it. He fought, hunted, and socialized with the clan better than she ever could. How could a useless excuse for a cat be a warrior?
She pushed away from her feelings of resentment, though they bubbled each time she spotted him. Why did she feel so angry with him? Did a part of her blame him for what happened with Milkfrost? No, that’s not it, she decided immediately, blue gaze clouded with thought. She scanned his scratched and bruised form, though he seemed strong and proud still. Was it envy, that she felt? How could a rogue be a better warrior than a clan-born cat through and through? The white and gray molly twitched her tail tip, dismissing the thoughts that swirled in her head. Whatever they were, she must deal with them on her own.
She felt scared, unsure of her future suddenly. Edgepaw didn’t take that from her, but she’d always felt inferior to the tom. Would it always be this way? Would she be stuck in the shadow of another cat forever? Sadness swept over her like a cold, black wave. “You should be a warrior, not me,” she murmured at last, breaking the silence that stretched between them. “You fight and hunt better than I can,” she went on, refusing to let him interrupt her. “Not to mention the clan seemed to be taking a liking to you, before everything happened. I’ve heard the whispers. I may be inured but I’m not deaf. In a moon or so it’ll blow over and you’ll be back to the top of the pyramid. Everyone will see you for your nobility and courage. You have a warrior’s spirit, even if you’re not clan-born.” It was soft, though the ending seemed to be laced with resentment. If you can go on and be okay, then I’ll have to accept that I’ll always be useless, she thought somberly.March 10, 2021 at 8:42 pm #11477
The black-gray tom watched carefully as she spoke, feeling some sort of relief that she didn’t blame him for the attack or Milkfrost’s death.. But deep inside, he wouldn’t forgive himself with what happened. It was something he would have to work on his own, it wouldn’t go away easily with the feeling of disappointment in himself with him placing Snowfeather and everyone else in danger in the first place.
At first Edge shook his head at her comment about him being good as he looked down at her “Not really, no.. But you’re really are one of the few that understands.” Edgepaw confirmed her thoughts. It only seemed like it was only Snowfeather and Swanpath that understood that deep down inside those scars, there was something good in him. The tom couldn’t figure out why those two still cared about him throughout everything, but he was thankful because he wouldn’t be so open, he only seemed to be so open with them.
It was quiet for a moment, and they were looking at each other.. But were deep in their thoughts before the tom saw the look of resentment in her eyes and Edgepaw couldn’t help but slightly cringe at the look, frowning a bit as it finally hit him. He’s seen that look before, it was a look that his litter-mates and some of his other siblings (Expect his eldest siblings) would give him. Since he was small, Edge was placed on this high pedestal since he could even remember. His father had seen something in him that he was given much more harder training that not even his eldest sisters had to endure until they were fully grown.
Edge opened his mouth for a second when Snowfeather spoke but he didn’t have a chance to really speak, it caught him off guard if he was being honest, especially the last part. The tom let out of soft breath for a moment before he looked down at his large paws for a moment, just trying to gather his thoughts and figuring out what to say.
The black-gray tom didn’t even know that his clan placed him on such high standards, he thought they actually hated him. Edgepaw wasn’t one for gossip either, he typically hated it and avoided it so he never heard those whispers at all. But the part that bothered him the most was the fact that Snowfeather thought she didn’t deserve to be a warrior and that she thought he was better than her, clan-born or not. Edge never wanted her to compare herself with him, they weren’t meant to be the same cat but two different cats that contributed to a common goal: To make sure Riverclan was safe. His reasonings were thriving was because he didn’t have much of a choice before his life in the clans, it was either give it your all or die. Edge just went on to thrive in Riverclan because his mentor was also strict, but not bad as his father.
It was silent for a moment, a lot of things were going through his head before his dark green eyes looked into her blue and he let out a soft sigh “Edge of Dawn.” Edge suddenly said, he saw the confused look on Snowfeather’s face at first and he found it quite amusing before he tilted his head a bit before he spoke “My birth name was Edge of Dawn, but I hated how long it was.. I complained to my sister so many times that I wanted to change my name to something more cooler, like Talon.. I thought Darkstar was going to name you Snowtalon but you know what..” The tom was silent for a moment before he looked at her
“I really like the name Snowfeather, because it was a beautiful name for a warrior that gives her all from the moment she woke up til the moment she went to her nest.” Edgepaw said with a half-smirk on his face, but his eyes were soft when he looked at her before he spoke, going towards her and he rested a paw on her own softly, ignoring the feeling in his stomach, she was a warrior now. Edge was still an apprentice, all they could be were friends right now. Even when he became a warrior, he wouldn’t try anything on her straight away.. Not until she better physically and mentally and he wasn’t going to do that to her, mess with her feelings like that. Sure his father was like that, but Edgepaw wasn’t like his father.
“My father was extremely strict with my training.” Edgepaw began, he chose to be honest with Snowfeather and open up to her because she needed to see where he was coming from “Usually his best soldiers would train his children, but he saw something in me that I guess was something he was looking for because he decided to train me, himself.” He said and let out a humorless laugh as he shook his head at her, his tail flicking for a moment.. Not much cats were trained by his father and he was quite ruthless and unpredictable, he could only think of a handful of siblings and his best soldiers that went through the training, the tom was the first one that went through it at a very young age.
“A warrior earns their name because they deserve it.. Trust me, you deserve it.” He said as looked towards her with a soft smile on his face and he removed his paw from hers and the large Maine Coone rolled his shoulders a bit “I’m not ready to earn my name yet, I think everyone sees that. I have plenty to improve on, and that includes hunting and fighting.” He said before an idea came over him as he looked over at her
“When you’re cleared to going back to doing warrior duties, why don’t I teach you my best fighting moves and we can go catch fish like we used to together?” He questioned as Edgepaw looked over with a grin on his face.March 18, 2021 at 12:32 pm #11504
s n o w f e a t h e r
The silence stretched between them once again as Edgepaw finished talking, Snowfeather’s gaze turned downward. She didn’t feel like looking at him, it made her stomach sick. How could he talk about himself like that, as if he was worse off? It’s selfish to think that, she thought guiltily, but anger was coursing through her veins, and the white and gray molly felt like it was her turn to be selfish, especially since every cat around her was every day. She fixed him with her blue gaze, though there was no warmth within them. They were twin chips of ice, narrowing as they traced every curve and outline of his figure.
“Do you not understand anything?” she mewed quietly, though her voice did not shake. It was loud, enough to catch his attention but quiet enough that he would have to focus on her words. More silence between the pair, though tension crackled the air like lightning, thick enough to make a cat gag. “Do you not realize that I’ll never be a warrior? I have to relearn everything!” she hissed suddenly, wishing she could stand and face him, though her broken leg stuck out awkwardly beside her. “Rainysky said he doesn’t know if I’ll be able to walk normally again! I may as well move to the elder’s den and be the charity case of the clan!” Her voice had dropped, delicate yet laced with venom. She was angry, and now that it had bubbled over she was going to let Edgepaw know exactly how she felt.
“Did you know any of that? Of course not, you haven’t lifted a paw to come and see me. Do you think I’m blind? Or deaf?” Her voice had begun to tremble now, tears filling her eyes and threatening to spill onto her cheeks. Being weak was terrifying, but being unable to do anything about it was much, much worse. “You’re fighting your own demons, sure, but what about me? What about mine? Why does every cat get to be selfish except for me?! Why do I always get the short end of the stick? I deserve better!” The last part came out as a gasp, crystal tears trailing down her white cheeks and staining them darker.
The pair were staring at each other so tensely that Snowfeather’s neck fur began fluffing up and her body continued shaking as she took in ragged breaths. She hated him for abandoning her when she needed him, but couldn’t help being drawn to him. All she wanted to do was curl up next to him and breathe in his scent, or press her pelt against his. Why was he running from her? It was only going to tear them apart in the end, and the end may be sooner than she ever thought. She couldn’t stop her paws from trembling. Her outburst was short yet filled with emotion, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d made any dent in him. She feared he would never leave his past behind; would it always define him?
What happened to you? What happened to us? she wailed silently in her brain, begging him to stay. Her life was full of cats doubting her and abandoning her, why would he be any different? Bile rose in her throat as bitter as yarrow, making her stomach churn. She felt sick, but for some reason, she wouldn’t back down from him. If she did now, then she would always be the same scared little kit she was with Milkkit and Pebblekit, afraid to leave the nursery and go outside. Whitefeather had been so proud of Pebblekit, the adventurous, enthusiastic older sister Snowkit had strived to be. Milkkit was shy yet charming, always warming up to others and making friends easily. Now that her two favorite kits were dead, Whitefeather had nothing to live for. You’ll always be Snowkit, she thought dejectedly, paws numb.
At least Gobystrike still loves me. Right? The pity in his gaze was all too evident on his visits here, though he treated her with such tenderness it could only be a father’s love. Snowfeather had a loving family, the clan leader as her mentor, and now she was a warrior. She had everything she could possibly want, so why did she feel so empty inside?March 18, 2021 at 10:06 pm #11515
Edgepaw’s smile fell as he saw Snowfeather’s cold glare at him, he didn’t know why all of a sudden her mood changed but it seemed to have to do with his comment about helping her training. The black-gray tom’s eyebrow arched a bit when Snowfeather started speaking, he didn’t even flinch when she spoke about possibly not being a warrior, he couldn’t help but snort because he saw a couple of cats in his past that managed to make their lives work without them having to fully retire from fighting or providing for the group. It wasn’t the end of the world for Snowfeather in his opinion, literally narrowing his eyes as she called her a charity case. So that’s how she felt about herself huh? Did she always feel like this towards herself? He was starting to lose his patience now, and it started when she compared each other and mentioned his past of a rouge and how he was better than her.. Snowfeather did not know his past, she didn’t know what he went through.
“Snowfeather, there’s literally a chance for you to still be a warrior. If you had the patience and you see the end results, then you can relearn everything. It’s not the end of the world for you, there are other ways for you to contribute to the clan. Do you seriously think Rainysky and Cherrypaw would give up on you that easily?” Edgepaw snapped as his eyes narrowed and you could clearly hear the in his voice that he was very annoyed. His long fluffy tail lashed in frustration as he literally groaned when she mentioned about him not visiting her and that’s when he stood up, and made his way towards her
“Firstly, I wasn’t allowed to come visit you right away because your kin was allowed.” Edgepaw pointed out, he knew Blackpaw wanted to visit their friend around the same time as him, but she wasn’t allowed either since Darkstar wanted Snowfeather’s kin to be with her incase the worst happened. He began taking a step forward, normally he would be pleased that Snowfeather was sticking up for herself and honestly would have found it quite attractive that she was standing her ground against him, but he was too pissed off to let his feelings get in the way “Secondly, you think I’m going to waltz in here right away while you were half dead and go ‘Hey Snow, sorry I almost got you killed, got your brother killed and Darkstar almost took my head off, I’m currently trying to show that I’m worthy of being here also sorry I brought you into a dangerous adventure because I wanted to impress you.’ How did you expect me to be able to face you when I couldn’t even stand myself without thinking that you could have been gone? I didn’t know how to face you, and I decided to run away from it.” His voice raised now, going towards her until they were face to face.
Edge didn’t care about the lack of personal space between him, he also had to resist the urge to just press himself against her and rest his head against her own but he kept his ground as he spoke coldly “Our demons are quite different Snowfeather, because you don’t know what happened to me before I came to Riverclan. You don’t know the things I had done before, I’m pretty sure if I even told you that you would literally run for the hills from me. You do deserve better, you don’t need to be around me at all. You could go back to your normal little life before me and I’m sure you’ll be just fine without me. We both have issues, I’m trying to figure out mine but I wasn’t raised in a environment that wasn’t so keen on talking about said problems. Perhaps you should try to find a way to deal with yours too since you decided to bottle in your feelings too.” Edgepaw said as he began backing away, he couldn’t deal with this conversation anymore. It felt like whatever they had before was crumbling down, he didn’t know how it went so bad so fast. Edge didn’t even know if they would even speak to each other again after this conversation because of how things turned sour so quick.
Well, he knew the answers. Edge had problems he needed to deal with, he felt like he wasn’t even good enough to be around Snowfeather even if she said he was good enough. No, Snowfeather didn’t know about how he grew up and how his father was an actual psychopath and how Edge was suppose to take his father’s place when the time came. No one really knew but his eldest sisters and how his older sister tried to protect him so desperately until she one day left, just like his mother. All he wanted was some kind of normal life but even at Riverclan, it wasn’t happening. But he wanted to help Snowfeather with her problems, but she just never told him up front and it frustrated him endlessly that both of them ended up in such a miscommunication like this.
“But I guess I was just doing a charity case by being around you huh? Everything that’s happen with the both of us was just fake to you since I was ‘forced’ to be around you.” Edgepaw said harshly as he looked up at her, shaking his head as he let out a chuckle “But I guess that’s what you expect from a selfish, cold-hearted rouge like me.” He muttered, looking down at her before the black-gray tom turned and began padding away
“I’m not doing this with you, I’m leaving. I’ll let Cherrypaw I’m finished with this visit.” Edgepaw said as he was walking away, it was just such a Edge thing for him to do.. To run away from his problems, it was such a family trait of his that he wished that he was able to break but it was a defense mechanism to him when he couldn’t figure out what to say or do next.
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Missa.
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